评学生英语文My Day
( by Chen Shuqi )
My Day
I am a student. My school life is always the same, but I never feel boring. My school life is colorful and it is full of happiness.
(第一句话写得好,点明自己的身份。然后交代自己在校的每一天几乎都一样,但是一样的充满色彩和快乐。即将为自己一天的在校生活揭开面纱)
I usually get up at a quarter past five. At half past five, I get to my classroom. I begin to read history loudly. At ten to six, I run around the playground with my classmates. I enjoy it very much. This is a way to relax and I can exercise my body. Then I have two classes. I have breakfast at school at eight. I have half an hour to finish my homework after breakfast.(It takes me half an hour to finish my homework after breakfast.)( 这个句子是典型的汉语式的思维方式下组合的英语句子,这是英语作文的最大忌讳。而这个句子的表达,小作者应该知道,但是一写作文就不会应用了,原因还是练习的少。“花费多长时间做某事”的表达方式很多:spend…doing, It takes sb some time to do sth等等 )
(交代作为住宿制学生,每天是有三晌,早晨起床有些早,来到教室就是读一些非语文英语的学科,然后就是在操场跑圈,然后就是早读早课,然后才8:00,才可以吃早饭。学生真的好辛苦,再是陈舒淇同学能够在期中享受到学习的乐趣,真的了不得。)
I have three classes in the morning in general. I have Chinese, math, English, chemistry and so on. I am fond of them. I always listen in class carefully. I have lunch with my deskmate in the dinning hall. And I have many homework to do. ( And I have much homework to do.) ( homework 是一个不可数名词,要用much, a lot of来修饰,many只能修饰可数名词的复数。) I have to cost some times to finish it. ( I have to spend some time finishing it. ) (这个句子有两处错误,一是“花费”用法掌握不好,二是some times的相似词语分辨不清。 ) I talk about math problems with classmates. I am happy when I work out them.
※特别讲解take spend cost pay的用法,都可以表示“花费”,但用法却不尽相同。
一、take后面常跟双宾语
(1) It takes sb. +时间+to do sth. 做某事花了某人多少时间。
(2)doing sth. takes sb. +时间,做某事花了某人多少时间.
二、spend的主语必须是人
(1) spend time /money on sth. 在……上花费时间(金钱)。
(2) spend time /money (in) doing sth. 花费时间(金钱)做某事。
三、cost的主语是物或某种活动, 还可以表示“值”
(1)sth. costs (sb.) +金钱,某物花了(某人)多少钱。
(2) (doing) sth. costs (sb.) +时间,某物(做某事)花了(某人)多少时间。
四、pay的基本用法是:
(1) pay (sb.) money for sth. 付钱(给某人)买……。
(2)pay for sth. 付……的钱。
(3)pay for sb. 替某人付钱。
(4)pay sb. 付钱给某人。
※特别讲解 sometime, some time, sometimes, some times的用法区别:
1)sometimes的意思是“有时”,是副词。例如: Sometimes he goes to school by bike and sometimes by bus. 他有时骑车上学,有时乘公共汽车上学。
2)sometime也是副词,意思是“在某个时候”。可用于一般过去时将来时。例如: He will come back sometime next week. 下周某个时间他将会回来。
3)some time是名词短语,意思是“一段时间”。例如: She has been in china for some time. 她在中国呆了一段时间了。
4)some times也是一个名词短语,time是可数名词,意思是“次数”。 some times的意思是“几次”。例如: I have been to Beijing some times. 我去过北京几次。
(中午是三节课,小作者都会认真地听讲,并且很享受老师在课堂上带给学生的知识。中午饭当然是在学校的餐厅吃饭,饭后小作者会回到教室和同学一起做些数学题,很享受做出难题后的那种兴奋。)
I have three classes in the afternoon. I am a little tired, but I also listen carefully. No man can call back yesterday. I have supper at ten to six. I have three classes in the evening. My teacher usually lets us do homework. It’s quiet now. My heart is quiet, too. I go to bed at ten. I will do exercises in the bedroom.
(到了下午,当然已经很累了,但是小作者会坚持注意听讲。更累人的是,晚上还有晚自习,但是小作者很是努力,回到宿舍,还会在做些练习题,真的要为小作者的勤奋鼓鼓掌!)
My day is over now.
总评:
1.这篇英语文章的美不在于英语语法用的多么的精确,关键是文章中折射出小作者心态的平和,心灵的阳光,句句传递着正能量。尽管对于我们农村学校来说,学校生活有点单调,但是小作者有学习的动力,在枯燥中寻找到了学习的乐趣。
2.就英语文来说,小作者才有总分总的格式,首先介绍自己是一名学生,每天的生活几乎一样,但是自己却感到了乐趣,吸引读者想要看下去,什么样的学习生活,让小作者如此这般享受。中间部分按照早晨、中午、下午、晚上四晌的节奏来写。最后一句简单但完美My day is over now.
3.能够不断变换句型,表达出不同时间做的事情,并给与评价,这是英语高分作文的要素。