开始
评学生英语文My Family
新学期，新计划，新进度。
九年级，四个月后，就是中招。
从开学的第一天，就进入了中招考试前的第一轮复习，从七年级上册开始。让学生每周两篇英语作文，是我的一个小计划，My Family就是开学第一周的第二篇英语文。看到有些孩子的作文很有创意，禁不住打出来，想与大家分享。
My Family
( by Zhang Xinxin )
“Family” is meaning “father and mother, I love you!”
What a happy family! There are four people in my family.
The strongest man is my father. He is a doctor. He is also a good father. He is tall and has short black hair. He can make model planes by hand. He often plays with us, but he never forgets his work. He works hard and makes every patients go well. What a great man！
A saying goes:“A person who truly loves you will be angry at you for many things, but will stick around.” Like my mother. She often is angry with me ( She is often angry with me ), ( often是一个频度副词，在句子当中应该放在be动词、助动词、情态动词之后，实义动词之前。所以小作者的这句话，应该修改为红色字体。) but she truly loves us. She is tall like me. And she is very beautiful. She sells clothes in a market. She often buys something to eat for us. What a kind woman!
My little brother and I are students. But he younger ten years old than me ( But he is ten years younger than me ).（than 是比较级的提示词，也就是说than前面的形容词必须要用比较级，而年龄上大或者小几岁，应该放在younger或者older之前，所以小作者的句子，我修改为了红色字体。） When he was a little baby, I often cared for him. He is the tallest in his class. And he can count “one, two, three…” He is very lovely and clever. He often makes faces to me, so I often laugh at home. I always play with him though sometimes we have a fight. I also love him very much.
What a happy family! I love it forever!
爱在行动点评：
文章以总分总的格式，很清楚的阐明了自己的家庭成员及其特点。开头对家庭含义的解释给人耳目一新的感觉。对妈妈介绍时，开头谚语的引用为文章增添了亮色。文章中从句的使用，感叹句的使用都给人美好的印象，文章写得妙！
My Family
( by Chen Shuqi )
I live in a happy family. There are four people in my family. They are my parents, my little brother and I.
My name is Chen Shuqi. I’m fourteen years old. I’m a student and I study in a middle school. I have a round face and short black hair. My nose is big, and my mouth is small. I like painting pictures and doing sports. Dumplings are my favorite food.
I have a little brother. He is seven years old now. He is a student, too. He is very cute. He always asks “why, why, why”, but I can’t answer these questions. He has a big nose and a big mouth (a wide mouth). (嘴的大在英语中不可用big,更不能用large,因为big和large修饰嘴时，不表示嘴的大，而表示大声说话；话多的人；冒失地说话；随便乱说。要想表示嘴巴真的大，就一定要用wide. ) He often in a blue T-shirt ( He often wears a blue T-shirt ). （这个句子，小作者忽略了英语句子最重要的一部分，就是谓语动词，句子缺少了谓语动词，一定是错误的。当然in后面接衣服或者颜色时，都可以表示“穿”的意思，所以这个句子也可以变为：He is often in a blue T-shirt.） He dislikes doing homework, but at last he has to finish it. I think he is an interesting boy.
My mother and father like us very much. My father is a worker. He is fond of playing basketball with his friends. My mother looks after my brother at home.
I love my family. Both my parents and my brother are important for me.
爱在行动点评：
文章以总分总的格式出现，完整有条理。对“我”的介绍很是全面，不管是外貌，还是爱好兴趣。对弟弟的可爱与调皮描写的绘声绘色，令人瞬间就会喜欢上这个可爱的小男孩。文章淋漓尽致的说明了“用最简单的复合句，在复杂的简单句”对一个初中生来说，是最好的写作模式。
My Family
( by Bai Xuexue )
My name is Bai Xuexue. I am twelve years old. I’m a student. I have a happy family.
My father is tall and a little fat. He has big eyes and short black hair. My father is a farmer. All the time, my father is a clever man in my heart. I am proud of him. In daily life, my father looks very strong. He treat me very strict ( He is strict with me ). (这个句子之所以用错，最重要的还是小作者写的是汉语式的英语，用汉语思维的习惯翻译英语句子，这是写英语作文的一大忌。be strict with sb 这一次短语在这里最为恰当，所以英语短语的积累对写作很有帮助。)
As for my mother is a worker ( As for my mother, she is a worker). （ 这个句子，刚一看，好像小作者写对了，再仔细瞧瞧，发现小作者把介词短语做主语了，这是万万不行的。As for是一个介词短语，后面跟上my mother这个名词，很好，但是后面，be动词的主语就缺少了，所以我把这个句子修改为了红色字体。）I think my mother is the most beautiful woman in the world. She looks after me very carefully. I feel very warm!
Nothing words can express my mood now. In short, my father’s love likes ( is like ) mount, my mother’s love likes ( is like ) water. （Like 作动词的意思是“喜欢”， 介词的意思是“像”。作为动词like 后面可以接名词，动词-ing或不定式，作为介词一般在句中作状语或表语。显然在这里的意思是“像”，父爱如山，母爱如水。）
Besides, my old sister is very beautiful, too. She is a worker, too. She loves me very much!
My father and my mother, I love you ! How simple sentence! They make up a happy family!
We live together happily for ever!
爱在行动点评：
尽管这篇文章采用了总分总的格式，却给人耳目一新的感觉，那是因为开头第一段简单介绍自己时，顺理成章的引申到I have a happy family.于是，一切都是那么精致。这篇文章，对父母的描写非常多，占用了大量的篇幅，可见小作者对父母的那份情之重。父爱如山，母爱如水，用得好，尽管有点语法小错误。
批改学生的英语作文，很费时间，费精力，但是看到孩子们有创意的作文，一切的劳累都变成了零，剩下的是幸福，教育的幸福感袭上眉头。
新学期，九年级孩子面临中招考试，我会坚持我的计划。每一个孩子都是家庭的一份希望，为了一份份希望，作为一名普通的英语教师，我会尽力，更会尽心！
结束
