14509 shops
TOEFL Independent Writing Task
Essay Question: Buying In Small Shops
Sample Writing by Jeenn Lee Hsieh
ielts360toefl@hotmail.com
http://www.ielts360toefl.blog.163.com/blog
Essay Topic: China 20131020
>Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? "It is always better to purchase in large stores than in several shops that specialize in different items." Use reasons and specific examples based on your knowledge or experience to support your answer.
Sample Answer by Jeenn Lee Hsieh:
Whether we favor big box chain stores or several small shops that specialize in different items, there are a few pros and cons, depending on what you expect to buy. When we make purchases, our banknotes cast votes for stores we like best. As customers, we have choices, and it is NOT always better for all of us to buy in large retailers than in small shops.
On the one hand, let us be honest with this reality: life without today's titanic chain stores would be like total "hell". For example, studies show that nowadays supermarkets offer the choice of up to 50,000 lines--everything from economy to niche products at competitive prices. Most of these giants provide free car-parking, home deliveries, and even internet shopping, to name only a few advantages. Further, large retailers have reduced the cost of some grocery shopping and made one-time luxuries into basics, which means that many of us whose out-goings often exceed in-comings on payday probably do not have to starve. So it seems that gone are the "hellish" days of trawling the high street all day long as we can fit our shopping into our busy schedules. In other words, large retailers such as supermarkets are an integral part of modern life, but should their expansion be the cost of small shops that specialize in different items?
On the other hand, a certain number of small shops continue to exist, for good reasons. Independent of the price factor, we are often tempted to purchase in those small shops which offer special products and services. It is true to some extent that when superstores open, ordinary small shops close (as if big fish were eating all small fish). Well, it does happen, but not always, and we know that it seldom occur to such unique small retailers as we prefer to visit on different purposes on different days for particular products and services. In fact, many small businesses of this kind are able to not only survive but also thrive (and profit) due to their ability to think small and focus, the freedom to take calculated risks, the agility to change quickly, the motivation to establish their own niche, and above all, the necessity to be different. You know what we mean, do you?
As a conclusion, no matter the size of business, the ultimate measure of success for all--big or small--still relies on different types of consumers. Alternatively, we have choices between buying in large stores and small shops according to our shifting sentiment. Therefore, it is up to consumers to discover which is better and where and when! (Essay by Jeenn Lee Hsieh ielts360toefl@hotmail.com pigai zuowen)
>Writing in English as a foreign language
TOEFL Independent Writing Task
IELTS Writing Task 2 (academic/general)
>Important!!!
When answering an essay question, you shoud always...
read the question carefully
make sure your ideas are directly relevant and specific to the question
address all parts of the question and stick to a 4-paragraph format
change the focus of your thesis (or the topic), if you have no ideas related to the question
re-read the task regularly to check that you are answering the question
>Introduction (3 sentences): Thesis-Focus-Signposts
Answer the essay topic in one sentence as your Thesis Statement in which you present your position in answer to the question.
Create a relevant and specific Focus for discussion by narrowing down the scope of your Thesis Statement.
Signpost the 2 main points (Signpost A and Signpost B) that are relevant and specific to your Focus, and say what you are going to say in the Body Paragraph A and Body Paragraph B, respectively.
>Body Paragraph A (6 sentences): PEE=Point A + Examples + Explanations
Topic Sentence A (Signpost Point A)
+5 Supporting Sentences=6 sentences
>Body Paragraph B (6 sentences): PEE=Point B + Examples + Explanations
Topic Sentence B (Signpost Point B)
+5 Supporting Sentences=6 sentences
>Conclusion (3 sentences): Signposts+Focus+Thesis
Summarize Signpost A and Signpost B.
Widen the scope of your Focus.
Re-state your Thesis Statement.
# Say, say, say: Opinion Essays (Thesis, Focus, Signpost Points are abstract ideas, not facts)
>Introduction: Say what you are going to say.
>Body Paragraphs A and B: Say it with evidence.
>Conclusion: Say what you have said.
# Scoring Standards: Writing Guides
IELTS: Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your knowledge or experience to support your opinion. (40 minutes; 250 words+; handwriting)
TOEFL: Use reasons and specific examples or details (based on your knowledge or experience) to support your answer. (30 minutes; 300 words+; typing)
To score higher in an independent writing task, whether it is about IELTS or TOEFL, it is important to get a clear idea regarding how a test essay is rated. For example, how well one writes is much more important than how much one writes. According to the official scoring guides of TOEFL and IELTS, a most successful paper should typically include the following features--
>英文合文法 (Grammatical English)
1. language effectiveness=rhetoric 语言效率
TOEFL--displays consistent facility in the use of language
IELTS--uses cohesion in such a way that it attracts no attention
2. sentence variety=syntax 句型变化
TOEFL--demonstrates syntactic variety
IELTS--uses a wide range of structures with full flexibility and accuracy; rare minor errors occur only as 'slips'
3. word choice=lexicon 字汇恰当
TOEFL--demonstrates appropriate word choice
IELTS--uses a wide range of vocabulary with very natural and sophisticated control of lexical features; rare minor errors occur only as 'slips'
>作文合逻辑 (Logical Composition)
1. [a thesis well-focused] 主题有焦点
TOEFL--effectively addresses the writing task
IELTS--fully addresses all parts of the task
2. [a structure well-organized] 结构有组织
TOEFL--is well organized and well developed
IELTS--skillfully manages paragraphing
3. [a content well-supported] 内容有支持
TOEFL--uses clearly appropriate details to support a thesis or illustrate ideas
IELTS--presents a fully developed position in answer to the question with relevant, fully extended and well supported ideas
