14000 Room
TOEFL Essay Topic
A Room Neat and Organized
China 20130914
ielts360toefl@hotmail.com
Jeenn Lee Hsieh
Essay Question:
>Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? "People who keep their rooms neat, tidy, and organized are more likely to be successful in the future."
>"Students who keep their rooms neat, tidy, and organized are more likely to be successful in the future."
Use specific reasons and examples (based on your knowledge or experience) to support your answer.
Example Writing (Jeenn Lee Hsieh):
There is no clear evidence that young people whose rooms are messy are likely to be less successful later in life. However, it can be argued that success is associated with their minds being creative rather than their rooms being neat, tidy and organized. Talking about chances of success in the future, it is far from being logical to match a messy room with a messy mind.
To begin with, it is groundless to think that keeping a messy room is a sign of a messy mind that is traditionally considered as a possible obstacle to future success. Make no mistake, a messy room is a messy room and a creative mind is a creative mind, with each not having the other in mind. Take the working life of Roald Dahl (author of 'Charlie and the Chocolate Factory' and other masterpieces for children), as an example to illustrate that a successful writer could work most creatively at a messy desk in a messy study. This is contrary to traditional thinking that a neat, tidy and organized room leads to more efficiency and productivity. Likewise, a more well-known story of a creative mind at a messy desk is referring to Albert Einstein, who is said to make fun of an 'empty' mind by presenting the following doubt. "If a cluttered desk is a sign of a cluttered mind, of what, then, is an empty desk a sign?"
Then, among the young people, particularly students, there is the controversy about 'clean room' policies, as if there were a right way or wrong way leading to their future goals. However, behind this controversy is why some people are messier than others? And for that matter, is it nature or nurture? According to a scientific report, messiness is a trait that people are born with rather than a habit that is developed. This makes sense, judging from how hard it is to meet anyone who would grow messier with age, or how easy it is to see a messy person struggling with de-clutteing his or her room. Accordingly, it may be said that keeping a neat, tidy and organized room has little or nothing to do with a person's success in the future, provided that a creative mind can work at a messy desk, relax in a messy bedroom, and cook in a messy kitchen.
In conclusion, it is not logical that keeping an impeccably clean room may surely contribute to one's future success when often the opposite is true. What really matters is a mind that is creatively organized rather than a room that is immaculately organized. Therefore, it is pointless to argue about whether successful persons' rooms ought to be clean or messy. (Essay created by Jeenn Lee Hsieh, ielta360toefl@hotmail.com pigai zuowen)
***Notes from Jeenn Lee Hsieh***
细读雅思与托福两家官方公布的评分标准，不难分析英文作文的六处提分亮点。
作文的三亮点：composing an essay logically, covering a thesis, structure and content
--主题的焦点=thesis well-focused=焦点是立场冲突之所在
--结构的组织=structure well-focused=结构是起承转合之组织
--内容的支持=content well-supported=支持是指理由例子细节
英文的三亮点：writing an essay grammatically at rhetorical, syntactic and lexical levels
--用语的效率=修辞=rhetoric=英文地道
--用句的变化=句法=syntax=句子3C
--用字的恰当=字汇=lexicon=字词丰富
造18句的作文，起3承6转6合3. 句子写多了怕时间不够，写少了怕字数不足。隐形模板是把作文简单化，借此加快速度完成写作答题。继而争取时间熟练英文的使用。
逻辑大纲-四段定位-18句装配。造句。造句。造句。句子是基本单位。把18个句子填到隐形模板上。谢老师实验自己设计的3663程式，证明越写越快。写完开头引言第一句之后，其他的17句几乎是顺理成章。
>Introduction: from general to specific
【引言段】：起段开头--范围由宽而窄。起中有合。前呼合段。起段第1-2-3句前呼合段第18-17-16句，句子排列次序颠倒。
1. 申论主题：考生回答试题的立场就是主题，预表抽象的立场冲突。
--State your arguable position on the topic=state your thesis
2. 集中焦点：考生的立场与不是考生的立场的冲突所在就是焦点
--focus your thesis by presenting viewpoints in conflict
3. 一分为二：把焦点分两道要点，作为承段招牌句A与转段招牌句B
--divide your focus into 2 main ideas [A and B] to be used as topic sentences [signposts] in your 2 body paragraphs=接头A+转头B
>Body A: follow your focus and support your thesis
【中体A】：承段接头--从考生的知识与经验里提出[RED]理由[reasons]-例子[examples]-细节[details]。RED sentences inform and explain the topic sentence's viewpoint or opinion.
4. 招牌句 Topic Sentence-A：来龙自起段第三句的一分为二。去脉到合段第一句的二合为一。
--Write a topic sentence that states the viewpoint for your first body paragraph.
5. RED--理由
6. RED--例子
7. RED--细节
8. RED--例子
9. RED--细节
>Body B: follow your focus and support your thesis
【中体B】：转段转头--从考生的知识与经验里提出[RED]理由[reasons]-例子[examples]-细节[details]。RED sentences inform and explain the topic sentence's viewpoint or opinion.
10. 招牌句Topic Sentence-B：来龙自起段第三句的一分为二。去脉到合段第一句的二合为一。
--Write a topic sentence that states the viewpoint for your second body paragraph.
11. RED--理由
12. RED--例子
13. RED--细节
14. RED--例子
15. RED--细节
>Conclusion: from specific to general
【结尾段】：合段回头--范围由窄而宽。合中有起。后应起段。合段第16-17-18句后应起段第3-2-1句，次序颠倒。
16. 二合为一：回头结合招牌句A+招牌句B。
--You should refer back to your focus about conflictive viewpoints A+B.
17. 还原焦点：立场的抽象冲突回头到焦点。
--You should widen your focus to the scope of your thesis.
18. 重申主题：再度回头重述主题。
--Don't only restate your thesis but show the significance of your synthesis of the information.
