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英语四级作文训练改词扩句-分词做插入语

2011-06-21 
Depending on his familiess support, he found a decent a job, which was despised by one of his friends.
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例句:

You are enthusiastic and enterprising. And you are one of the most talented and diligentin our department. You have already won 2 awards for good academic results.

改句:

You, enthusiastic and enterprising,are one of the most talented and diligent in our department,already winning 2 awards for outstanding academic results.

解析:我们可以看到例句中有3个简单句,咋看上去给人一种啰嗦、累赘的感觉。但细看之下,不难发现3个句子的主语全部是you,因此我们就该联想到同位语、插入语的应用。从改句中,我们可以发现谓语从原来的3个变成了1个,顿时使句子显得高级,精简很多。其次,还有一个改动之处为"good",这个词是常用词,口语中用的更频繁些,我们可以想一些同义词例如"excellent","outstanding"等等。

下面请大家试试看吧!
1.He depended on his families''s support to find a good job. One of his friends looked downed on him.

答案:

Depending on his families''s support, he found a decent a job, which was despised by one of his friends.

 

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